The Never Ending Horror Comedy Story
by Caileo Loup-Garou
Summary: Just a crazy story I was writing when I was bored. Please read this if you want to read about most of the Harry Potter charaters just going crazy. Short, but tasty. Yumyumyum . . .
1. Chaos in Harry's Room

Disclaimer: No, sadly, I don't own Harry Potter or any of JK Rowling's other wonderful characters. I would like to thank her for creating them, so I could make them go crazy in my own story. Once you read this . . . You might realize it would be best if I didn't own the Harry Potter characters anyway.  
  
  
  
McGonagall's Famous Purple Toadstools and Hot Magenta Cheerios  
  
By Caileo Loup-Garou (and inspired by JK Rowling's Harry Potter and other characters)  
  
Because of Dudley's snores in the next room, Harry woke up early. He was used to this, for living with the Dursleys was hard enough being slave- driven around the house. He reached out to his bedside table and put his glasses on. This was a normal routine every day. Wake up, put your glasses on. Nothing special. He got up and dressed, and opened the door of his room.  
  
"Why, hello Harry!" A tall man dressed in a black cloak stood in front of him. Voldemort. Harry screamed.  
  
"What are you doing here?!" Voldemort looked hurt.  
  
"I just came by to, to visit. And, I'm lonely."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You see, Harry, being the evil villain of these stories isn't as fun as it seems. I've got no one to play with, and my hobby's useless without anyone to do it with.  
  
"What's your hobby?" Voldemort suddenly became slightly reddish. "Sock puppets."  
  
"Sock puppets?! You mean you're trying to kill me, and now you want me to play sock puppets with you?!"  
  
"Well, yes." Voldemort pulled two white socks from his cloak. "This is Charley, and this is Winifred." Harry almost fainted. They both turned as they heard a knock on the door. Harry cautiously opened it. The tall figure of Dumbledore stood there, looking quite cheerful.  
  
"Why, hello Voldemort, Harry. Am I on time?"  
  
"On time for what?" Harry asked.  
  
"On time for the party, of course! Look, here comes some more guests!" Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia, and Dudley came into the room. Vernon spoke first.  
  
"Good morning, Albus! Have we made it in time?" Harry suddenly felt dizzy. What was going on?  
  
"Of course, Vernon! Come on in!" After that, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny came. Ginny looked confused.  
  
"Um, we don't know how we got here, but . . ." She suddenly screamed as Aunt Petunia and Voldemort swept passed doing the Tango.  
  
"Hello, Harry. Long time, no see!" Ginny fainted as Snape entered the room.  
  
"I'll get some punch," Remus Lupin said, also entering.  
  
"And I'll get some music." Sirius came in, wearing bright purple robes with little teddy bears wearing bathing suits on it.  
  
"What's going on?" Harry whispered to Hermione.  
  
"They must all be anxious for the fifth book to come out," Hermione responded after taking in the scene.  
  
"I've got food!" Professor McGonagall cried, pushing her way into the crowd. "It's home baked." Harry and Ron at the stuff in the bowl.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"It's my family's secret recipe: Purple Toadstools and Hot Magenta Cheerios cooked for 45 minutes in a bowl of fluff!" She then put the bowl down on a table and joined Dumbledore, Aunt Petunia, and Snape doing the Can-Can on Harry's bed. Sirius, who had returned with some music, turned to his audience.  
  
"I have but one word to say. Happy furry llamas!" He then turned back to the closet he was apparently telling his life story to.  
  
"Well, there's really nothing wrong with partying, is there?" Ron said, looking at Vernon and Snape do the disco in the center of the room.  
  
"You're right, but this is too weird . . ."  
  
"Hello, Mr. Muglopagon, how are you doing today?" Remus Lupin flew past them, wearing the bowl of Purple Toadstools and Hot Magenta Cheerios on his head.  
  
"Remind me to never ever wish for a break again," Harry exclaimed, "make the fifth book already!"  
  
  
  
A/N: Yeah, I know it's short, but so what? You have a problem with short stories? Oh, and by the way, if you don't review, I'll eat you. If you do review, I'll give you a cookie! 


	2. Enter Chosen Title Here

The site you are trying to access is currently available. You are reading this page due to a momentary shift in the time-space continuum. Have a nice day.  
Enter Chosen Title Here  
  
By Caileo Loup-Garou and his imaginary duck, Wilbert.  
  
When we last left off, there was chaos in Harry's room. Well, guess what? There's still chaos in Harry's room. *winks* You didn't REALLY think that I'd stop the chaos, did you? Good. 'Cause it ain't stoppin' any time soon.  
  
Oh yeah, and I'm the narrator in this one. Was I the narrator in the last one? I don't remember . . . Oh well.  
  
(It begins here)  
  
Are you paying attention? I'm gonna start the story!  
  
Ready?  
  
Okiday, I'll stop being annoying. Ahem! *narrates in a deep Transylvanian accent* It was a dark, and stormy night . . . Harry and the rest of the loony people were camping outside, deep in the woods . . . BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *coughs* Ahem. Anyway, Harry and Ron were sharing a tent, when suddenly a scream arose from a tent far away from theirs. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *clears throat* Sorry. All of a sudden Ron said, 'Holy Pickles!' Harry jumped up, ready to defend the damsel in distress.  
  
'I'll save you!' Both of them ran out of their tent and stopped in horror as they gazed up at a giant Oak tree. Fourteen Voodoo dolls were hanging on several of the long, skeletal branches, creaking in the howling wind (it is getting scary now, is it not?).  
  
'Harry, Ron, help me!' Hermione was screaming, trying to free the grasp of a ghostly figure holding her still. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *cough* I swallowed my mint.  
  
'Hermione, don't panic! We're coming to save you!' Ron and Harry dashed forward, ready to risk their lives for the know-it-all girl that we all know and love. Ahhhhhh . . . How brave! All of a sudden, the ghostly figure raises on hand and grabs a Voodoo doll from the tree, and slices it's head of with one of it's knife-like fingernails. Ewwww, gross! Ron fell down behind Harry, temperamentally paralyzed from the Voodoo slayer. Harry ran gallantly forward, not really knowing what he would do once he reached the big meanie.  
  
Of course, this story isn't going to stay this scary, because of course, I don't write like that unless I'm possessed by Edgar Allen Poe. It does happen sometimes, you know. You're just jealous the voices don't talk to you.  
  
So, all of a sudden Sirius comes running out of a tent screaming something about atomic potatoes, and then it happens. First, he steps on a rake and gets knocked out (yes, I know how lame that is.). Then, the bowl of Purple Toadstools and Hot Magenta Cheerios he had been holding came flying out of his hands and landed on the ghostly figure kidnapping Hermione and hitting Harry on the head with a Voodoo doll of himself. SPLAT! The radioactive gooey substance drips down his face . . . And now to reveal the kidnapper: Draco Malfoy! Malfoy glares at Sirius, 'Oh shucks, you caught me.'  
  
So, now that we found out who was going to murder Hermione . . . Who set up the Voodoo dolls? Harry and Hermione look behind the large Oak tree to find Voldemort scrunched over, looking at something. 'Winifred! How could you? I thought I could trust you . . .'  
  
'Charlie, our relationship wasn't going anywhere, I had to do it!'  
  
'But Winifred . . .'  
  
'Charlie, I want I divorce!'  
  
So, who made the Voodoo dolls? Did Hermione catch loony fever from Malfoy? Is Ron alive? Will Winifred and Charlie's relationship survive? Keep checking back here to find out!  
Disclaimer: Um . . . Uh . . . Who's Harry Potter? *sobs* No, I don't own him . . . But! I do own some things! I own myself, Caileo Loup-Garou, Wilbert the Duck, my deep Transylvanian accent, Winifred and Charlie (Voldemort's sock puppets), and the Purple Toadstools and Hot Magenta Cheerios cooked for 45 minutes in a bowl of fluff mentioned in the previous chapter (hence the name). I do not own Harry Potter, all of JK Rowling's other characters, the phrase '*cough* I swallowed my mint.' Belongs to a game called 'Third Grade Adventures', and oh yes. The phrase at the top of the page belongs to Angelfire web pages. It comes up when a page is temporarily disabled.  
  
A/N: So, how'd you like this chapter? I really enjoyed writing it, and I'm sure you'll enjoy REVIEWING it. Right? Right. Anyway, I'm going to thank those of you that were nice enough to review:  
  
Pyro: Thanks, I like to make funny things!  
  
Cariel: Yeah, evil villains are very misunderstood. I enjoy making them a lot different than they appear in the books.  
  
Katani Petitedra: Oh yes, my fellow insane author half-human person thingy . . . I'm in the big leagues now, bwahahahahhaha! I'm so glad you like it! &) Whoa . . . I've never made that smilie face before . . . How about this one?  
  
@@@:) It's Marge Simpson!  
  
NoComment: *evil laughter* Yes . . . Crazy is good!  
  
Ivory Tower: Funny shall rain supreme! *thunder clouds appear* Oops, gotta watch my grammar!  
  
Happy Furry Llama: I LOVE POTATOES! GIVE ME ONE!  
  
The Happy Rodent: Why thank you! Yes, show it to all of your friendses!  
  
Shortsighted Evil: What?! I can't eat you? NO!  
  
Once again, thank you for the nice reviews, and if you review again, I'll be sure to include your name here in my next chapter. 


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